August 15, 2013

• love is the drug and loneliness is the human condition

  I’ve met three men in the past month, all in my travels who treated me differently from the guys back home.  They made me feel pretty and sexy and special- back home I always feel like the backburner bitch- the girl guys go to when the girl they really like is ignoring them or whatever. I always feel dicked around and I never know where I stand with them.  It was nice being treated with tenderness, it was nice having someone fighting sleep just to spend more time with me.  It was nice holding someone’s hand in public. 

  Now that I’ve had a taste of it I’m getting greedy and it’s finally hitting me how lonely I really am. And now I can’t stop crying.  I literally can’t stop. I  keep wiping my tears and taking deep breaths but I end up sobbing.  Thinking about the bullshit I’ve been through this year and last.  Guys fucking me and then asking me for dating advice, getting stood up so much that now I always have a back up plan, always going to events alone and being the third wheel. 

  • 1:11 pm
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