If I wrote this on my other xanga it would basically be like this

But seriously, in the next few weeks I should book one.  Also, if you search “massage” on tumblr, you find a lot of porn.

This is really cute. I hope one day my husband will dedicate a group counseling textbook to me, hah. 

Pretending to text, food in teeth, thought stranger was waving at you, didn’t leave house all day, changed mind and didn’t send text, third wheel.  I should be an eagle scout by now. 

You better look like Jen Aniston naked.

I cannot believe people are saying Beyonce is fat.  Her curves are amazing and she just had a kid! Women are so ruthless.

Joe used to have a beige lock box on one of his shelves.  Sometimes after we would have sex, I would wonder what was inside there.  I always assumed it was something bad since he kept his bowl, weed, and porn in plain sight. 

Maybe one day he caught me staring at it cause he opened it up and we looked through it together.  It was filled with old baseball cards and other childhood mementos. There was this really funny picture of him and his mom on a roller coaster when he was a chubby little kid.  It was such a simple, silly little gesture but it really pulled on my heart strings.   We had a lot of sex when we were together, followed by deep conversations and cuddling, he knew some of my secrets and I knew some of his, but this was probably our most intimate moment together. 

This would be my list of demands for Valentines Day.  Totally kidding, but these things are so much better than a heart shaped box of chocolate or dropping $100+ for  red roses. 

Rainbow roses from FTD, actually pretty reasonable.  They have them in all sorts of colors. 

Like this. 

I saw this on Etsy, it’s surprisingly only $15 but I think you had to order it before Feb 1 for it to ship in time. 

Thin girl with big thighs.  I’m learning to love them.  Dial 1900 Mix A lot.

I wonder if in ten years people will fight for insect rights

Its so creepy how as soon as a public figure passes away, they update their Wikipedia from “is” to “was”

Awwww… I love my dad.